I recall wanting to be an exchange student in my undergraduate program. Because of finances, I had none, I left the university to earn enough money to return to enter an exchange program to go to Spain. I left for eight months and worked in a law office. I knew I would return to the university; it was just something I felt I had to do. You see, my family’s descendants are Spanish and Native American. I thought it would be great to see if I could find out a little of my lost heritage. Would I see Spaniards that looked like me or my family members? My surname was Trujillo and I found a number of areas in the country where this surname was very popular. Sadly, when I returned to the university I realized that I ‘still’ could not afford to go to Spain so I never went.

This was many many years ago and I think back and wonder why I never made it a point to go to Spain as an adult. I have gone to Europe many times but seemed to unconsciously skip this beautiful country. Perhaps it was because I was so disappointed way back then. I really don’t know.

As I contemplate my upcoming visit, I feel the same excitement I had when I was a mere 19-year old girl. I will be presenting at the 9th International ELearning conference in Las Palmas de Gran Canaria. It’s funny how life presents opportunities when you least expect them.

City streets
Presence of people nearby
Laughter in the distance
Cars buzzing, whirring, honking
Red light, green light
A grimace about today
Worries about tomorrow
Shoulders hunched
Brows furrowed
The hum of a distant tractor
Dogs barking but barely audible
Birds chirping covered by the spring blooms
A slight breeze slapping my cheeks
The stillness waits…

Everyday I think about how I can practice thinking beyond my self-centered purview. I wake up and give intentional gratitude to the people and things that bring great joy in my life. Then I start thinking about how much work I have to do when I get to the office. The thoughts snowball and I’m off. Another day on my own fast moving train. Intentional practice is work. It does not come easy to me unfortunately. Lately, when I practice intentionally, I widen my perspective and try to pay attention to what’s around me, from the windchill that hits my face, the unique odor of the air and dormant or half-living plants and grass, the wet kiss from my new puppy, or the soft kiss from my husband as I leave for the office on a Monday morning. This moment will be different soon. It will change and never be the same just like the characteristics of a snowflake. In fact, I am not the same moments later. There’s no quarantee even though experience and time have given me false confidence. I wonder how I have placed so much trust in the future, that some day things will be better, I’ll get more organized. I’ll have more time to….The time is now. It’s not new news but for me it’s not easy.

When I open my mind and heart to the ‘now’ I see so much more than I ever thought. I am driving and see a puppy running in and out of the cars at a stoplight. I see someone walking on crutches, carrying an unusually large bag causing his gait to slant sideways while walking forward. It looks like it’s going to rain. I will be late for work if I stop to see if he needs a ride or to save the puppy from the traffic, only….it is NOW. I need to practice intentionally.

I just came across a picture book by Mendoza and Powers called Colors of the wind! No it’s not Pocahontes but it’s like it. It’s a tale about George Mendoza who recounts a childhood experience that drives his purpose today as an avid painter in Las Cruces, NM.

When I read the simple tale, it filled me with such joy. Imagine this little boy who suddenly loses his eye sight at 15 and enters a new world where he can only see light peripherally–such light so bright and colorful that only he sees what he sees ( a kaleidoscope of color). A young blind girl asks him what color is the wind and he remarks that it’s like a rainbow of colors. I start to imagine that rainbow of color, and I feel the power of the colors on the beautifully illustrated page. Wow! If only we could all see the wind! I am certainly going to begin to try.  Thank you George Mendoza for enlightening me forever more.

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You’ll learn things you never knew you never knew

(Excerpt from Colors of the Wind, Pocahontes, Disney)

Joy is what you experience when life transcends expectations in a way you could never imagine. I experienced joy a few days ago as I planned to join the Proud Enough to Wear Pink Cancer Walk/Run on Saturday, October 4. My 81-year old mom arrived at my house the night before so I decided to take her and her little Chihuahua named Bella with me to the cancer walk. I was going to meet some friends and walk (or run) the 5k, hoping to run a little as well. I put pink beads on the charcoal-colored Bella to fit her to the occasion. I gave my mom a pink shirt to wear. I had hoped that my mom would just treasure the fresh air and the pink clouds of people walking and jogging away from her. My thought was to have her walk to a bench. I would leave her to people-watch, and then in a blink of an eye my plan was to return to her after having run the 5k. We started with the walkers around 8:30 am. As we proceeded downhill, she and I were talking about the various buildings along the way. “There is a new dorm,” I said. “I used to be in this dorm during summer school.” She never got a chance to visit me when I was in college. “That is the building that I work in now,” all the time pointing in one direction or another. She observed that the campus was very attractive as we continued our walk. She commented on the pond and the mature trees and flowers. Bella would interrupt us regularly as a leashed dog would pass by. When the leashed dog were approximately fifty feet away, Bella would begin to act tough and start yelping frantically. One time, a German Shepherd unexpectedly passed right by her side. You could tell its mere size frightened her as she cowered in his presence and quickly ran between me and my mom. The German Shepherd went further ahead, and sure enough Bella would bark after it like an angry tiger. It was quite comical.

Before we knew it, Mom and I had walked about a mile when she said “How far have we gone. Two miles?” She was aware that the walk was a 5k. Not wanting to disappoint her, I told her “Yeah, maybe about 1 ½ miles.” Then I suggested that we turn around or that I go get the car to pick her up. She just nodded and said, “No, I want to walk.” So we did. We were now walking up hill when she laughed and observed that it was getting more difficult for her. I offered once again to have her sit and rest. I also offered to get the car but she seemed resolute to keep going. By this time, I knew we were the last ones since I hadn’t seen anyone behind us for quite some time. I didn’t say anything though; we just kept walking, talking, and enjoying each others’ company.

At about the time we got to the soccer field, Mom’s walk got slower. A sheriff’s truck pulled up and told us that we were the last ones. I shrugged to him and explained, “You can’t tell an 81-year old what to do.” He drove off; we kept walking. We were getting closer to the finish line but I figured we had about a half mile more to go. What had I done? I heard the flag guy radio in that we are the last walkers as he waived us across the street. We keep walking. The guy in the Sheriff’s truck pulls up again and tells us to walk in the grass as it looks like they have opened the road to traffic. We nod in agreement and I help my mom up to the grass area to continue our walk. Walking in the grass was tough though. She struggled.She was getting tired and she couldn’t lift her feet high enough over some of the rooted trees or bumps in the grass. In addition, she now had to concentrate on looking at her feet because she was afraid of falling. I decided that the sheriff’s advice was not a good one for an 81-year old so we proceeded to get back on the paved road. We found the sidewalk shortly thereafter which brought great relief to both of us. She kept walking even though her pace got even slower. Two EMTs in a golf cart asked if we needed a ride. I asked my Mom again and she said, “No, I am going all the way.” The EMTs left and then returned a few minutes later. The Sheriff truck came again and suggested that we walk alongside the Fulton Center parking lot. Cars were now freely driving up and down the street. My mom refused to walk through the parking lot at first. She said she didn’t want to cheat! I laughed at how haughty she became. I had never known my mom to be stubborn or competitive. When we were kids, she never played games with us and was always too busy raising the seven of us. She is in fact quite a serious person by nature. Suddenly she was vocal and full of conviction and motivation to complete a 5K!

Her pace became slower. She was now walking a little bowed, leaning back as she took each step. It scared me. I advised her to stop if she were experiencing pain or were becoming dizzy. Bella, fortunately, was doing quite well–perhaps a little thirsty. The EMTs were behind us now in their golf cart. They said they would follow us all the way. My mom said she was okay and became empowered to move on. I started thinking about how my brothers and sisters would kill me if this walk hurt her in any way. My mom had survived a blood disease that had baffled her doctors. What if this took her down? I knew I could be in big trouble but there was no way I was going to convince her to stop. She seemed more resolute. The EMTs offered their moral support. They asked us if we had had any water. I advised that actually we never saw water except at the beginning. Of course that was probably because we had been so far behind everyone else that the water stops had probably already left. One of the EMTs took off in the golf cart while the other walked alongside us. I wish I had gotten their names. They were both very supportive. The one who walked alongside of us commented that it was important to follow one’s dream. He said he had become a firefighter at 40, which was a dream he had had since he was a kid. “You got to follow your dreams.” This fueled my mom farther. Within a few minutes, the second EMT arrived with a bottle of water. He said he could only get one and that he got it from someone in the Pride Band. Everyone else had gone.

He gave my Mom the water. She sipped and we all engaged in simple conversation about the beautiful weather as she took each step forward. I received a text from my girlfriends who were wondering what had happened to me. I called them and told them what was happening. They said they would wait for us.
It was almost over as we turned the corner of the Fulton Center. I could see the orange pylons at a distance. I pointed out the goal to my mom but it was too far for her to see. I told her that she was so close and that she had made it. I noticed as we got closer that there was a band getting ready to practice. I knew everyone from the run had left and of course that was okay. My mom has never been at such a community event so I knew it would be okay to end the walk by saying, “You made it!” We would be closer to the car by then and I could place her safely in the car. But that’s not what was in the works. I turned to the EMT and asked if there was any kind of visible line she could cross for dramatic effect, and he said that he didn’t think so. Then he whispered “But the Pride Band is waiting for your mom.” He advised me to walk her in between the kids who simply seemed to be hanging around with instruments in hand. Two of the Pride Band members came up to her and congratulated her.

At about 10:15 am, my mom, Bella, and I walked right into a crowd of people. The crowd then proceeded to part on both sides and began to play for my 81 year old mom who had never participated in athletics in her life and who had now completed a 5K! I was so touched as we went through the crowd hearing the AGGIE fight song. I wanted to cry but simultaneously I also wanted to take a picture of this one-time moment. After all, this is why iPhones exist, right? So as I proceeded to tightly hold my mom’s hand in case she was to fall, firmly grasping onto Bella’s leash who was now displaying anxiety over the roar of the music, I clumsily thumbed through my iPhone display with the other hand as we walked through the youthful crowd–me videotaping and my mom firmly placing one foot in front of the other.

The unexpected joy that I felt was overwhelming. It still is every time I tell the story. Thank you so much Aggie Pride Band, the two unknown EMTs who stayed with us until the end, my two dear friends Olga and Pam who were still there waiting for us, and the person in the sheriff truck who incrementally stopped by to give us helpful tips about the road safety. One might not imagine how such small events can transform into great joy! My Mom had a day she will surely remember for hopefully quite some time. And the wonderful experience I got to share with my mom has brought me great joy!
Go Aggies!

Starting Off

Finishing with Aggies Pride Band (New Mexico State University)

My Bucket Runneth….. (compliments of Microsoft images)

…So I have been meaning to create this site for quite some time. I have procrastinated for years. I thought to myself that if I put it on my bucket list, I might do it before I Die! Fortunately, technologies and resources have made this process easier and easier. I first thought I needed to get this all right the first time, plan thoroughly. Of course, that would delay me even further but I was okay with that because ‘planning’ takes time. Years pass by and finally I have put it on the top of my bucket list. When I finally started to DO something about it, I found that getting here wasn’t as difficult as I thought. Granted, my skills are technically diverse and I find comfort with technology, but I have to admit that for a brief moment I felt like my grandmother who found comfort in not doing it all and then saying, “When I was your age….”  Fortunately, the process is quite sophisticated and the resources are abundant.  There’s an app or widget for most everything; and the web editors are definitely wusiwyg (what you see is what you get.  Since this can get confusing to anyone who is new to blogging or creating a simple website,  I will share some basic start-up instructions for newbies who wishe to get their own websites up and running for blogging, selling, etc.

Welcome to my site. I am very excited that I will be begin my blogging journey. I am a writer by nature so the blog concept seems very natural to me. My typical writing behavior is to write on napkins, put on USB drives, on several computers, in googledoc files, etc. What that means is that I have my thoughts all over the place.  I am getting older now and that ability to multi-task (more recently known as multi-switch) is getting much more laborious. So, why not take advantage of the technologies that are out there. I will talk more about my purpose for this site at a later date but right now I just want to get started.  Regards, Sharon